The Square

The Square

The Square

Like the meal itself, I’m going to keep this short and sweet. After multiple attempts to secure a table for lunch at Le Gavroche with little, in fact, no success (they were fully booked until May), The Square seemed to shape up as a good alternative for a celebration of friends: one on a whistle-stop trip back to the UK for the weekend, and the other, to welcome in his 35th year. He’s actually 34, but that makes him sound even older than me. 

The Square is in the posh London district of Mayfair. During our amble to the restaurant it was easy to see why the place costs so much on the Monopoly board; we were rubbing shoulders with Stella (not the wife-beater), Marc, Louis and the like. Luckily for me, prior to going, I’d won second place in a beauty contest so had an extra tenner to spend.

We opted for the set lunch which, at £37.50 per person, seemed exceptional value for a two Michelin star establishment.

The hen egg starter was the pick of the dishes for me. Asparagus is far and away my favourite vegetable, and when coupled with a runny yolk, I’m more than happy to withstand its malodorous after-effects. The salted morels provided the perfect seasoning and soaked up the sauce like a sponge (mushroom).

The Square: Crisp Hen Egg with White Asparagus, Montgomery Cheddar “Fondue”, Morels, Spring Onions and Pea Shoots.

The word raviolo is seldom used in the Italian language. Probably because it’s the singular form of the plural ‘ravioli’, and you don’t have to be a greedy Italian to want more than one. Although the one I had was filled with sumptuous veal and lavished with a dreamy cheese sauce and crunchy greens, I felt like I’d asked for a final vowel on Countdown and got an ‘o’ when an ‘i’ would have given me a nine letter word. What a conundrum.


The Square: Ravioli of Milk Fed Veal with Spring Cauliflower, Peas, Broad Beans, Banon Cheese and Roasting Juices.

The dessert was a pretty picture but looked better than it ate. (I’ve personified the dessert here. It didn’t eat anything; I ate it. It’s what posh food folk say and I was in Mayfair, afterall).

Having lived on ‘churros con chocolate’ during my time in Spain, I have it on good authority that churros are dunkers that would give hob-nobs a run for their pesetas. Except, with this dessert, I had nowhere to dunk it. The firmness of the panna cotta meant it was like Ron Jeremy trying to make love to a pinhole. There was no choice but to eat the churros and panna cotta separately which begs the question, why put them together in the first place? That said, the churros was vanilla-sweet and the creaminess of the panna cotta was well balanced with a layering of tart apple sauce.

The Square: Milk Panna Cotta with Granny Smith Apple and Vanilla Churros.

I’m not entirely sure what the meal cost as my good friend played his community chest card and settled the bill on our behalves. At a guess, I’d say that passing go might have been enough to cover it.

I may be doing The Square a disservice judging it on the set lunch alone. The dining room is a little stuffy, but the service is good and above all, the food is tasty and visually stunning – I just feel the lunch menu serves taster menu portions. If I were to liken it to a certain Manchester establishment it’d be Long Legs in China Town: We were teased for an hour or so with various tit-bits of beauty, but left feeling a little unfulfilled, out of pocket and hungry for more.

To my friend Marsy, who is 6ft 5in tall…..Happy birthday Long Legs 😉


Happy Birthday


Square on Urbanspoon

The Square
6-10 Bruton Street

T: 020 7495 7100


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